Never...

Never, EVER say to a woman...



..."But your sister liked it like this."

..."Less talkie, more booby."

..."Wow Honey, your roomate is really cute."

..."DAMN! Did you see that butt?!?"

..."Are you kidding me? MY boobs are bigger than yours are."

..."Have you put on weight?"

..."Hey Honey! What was the number for that male enlargement pill?"

..."OK! YES! She was attractive but I wouldn't have a shot with her so stop worrying."

..."Are you on your period? Because you're being really bitchy."

..."Oh man, Babe, my new secretary is HOT!"

..."Don't worry about it. I'll be home before dawn."

..."Where's the credit card? I found a new porn site I want to try out."

..."Those pants really make your butt look big."

(let me reiterate)..."Those pants really make your butt look big."

..."I think your dad is gay."

..."I think your brother is gay."

..."I think you may have turned me gay."

..."Any chance you're bi-sexual?"

..."Oprah sucks."

..."Absolutely you can change your own oil! You can use my tools!"

..."It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

..."Did you fart?"

..."I just farted."

..."Sweetie, your best friend's wedding isn't all that important. I mean, isn't this her fourth?"

..."Can I put those pictures of you on my MySpace page?"

..."So I was talking to (insert any guy's name here) today about our problems."

..."Oh God! I've slept with a LOT more people than you have!"

..."Oh come on! You KNOW you've slept with more people than that!"

..."Are you crazy? This shirt cost me eight bucks!"


There are many, many more but if I sit and write them all, it'll probably just bore me and then I'll lose the interest in blogging. Common sense guys............common sense.