This and That...

So let's clear some things up here...



Here's a little insight into what people really mean when they say certain things. Let's go:


-When someone says "I'm just a neat freak" they actually mean "I'm extremely neurotic and if you drop something on the floor I'll kill you."


-When someone says "I love nature" they actually mean "I'm a hippie; someone shoot me."


-When a guy says "No, Sweetie, I have no problem with you going to get dinner with your ex-boyfriend. I trust you" he actually means "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"


-When a woman says "No, Sweetie, I have no problem with you going to get dinner with your ex-girlfriend. I trust you" she actually means "If you go out with that skank, I will sleep with every one of your friends"


-When a husband says "Sure, Hon, we can get the Kia for better gas mileage" he actually means "Well we already have three kids anyway...I guess the loss of my penis for driving that piece of crap won't matter much"


-When a wife says "Sure, Hon, we can get the Mustang for some fun" she actually means "If you buy that f***ing thing I will sleep with every one of your friends"


-When a father says "New boyfriend, huh? Yeah sure bring him over" he actually means "OH COME ON!!!!!"


-When a mother says "New boyfriend, huh? Well, don't let your father find out" she actually means.......well........she probably means exactly that.


-When bosses say "Yeah, sure! You deserve a vacation!" they actually mean "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"


-When a barber says "Oops" he actually means "Have you thought about shaving your head? That look is in this year"


-When a doctor says "Oops"..................just run; it doesn't matter what he means.


-When a mechanic says "Don't worry. Its not that bad. Maybe a couple hundred bucks" he actually means "I'm going to need some collateral for this loan you're about to take out"


-When a used car salesman says "This here's a beaut! Only one owner and 'taken care of'" he actually means "Yeah some wanna be race car driver owned this thing. He beat the crap out of it and it probably won't last much longer"


-When a lady in a dress shop says "Oh my you look heavenly in that color" she actually means "Damn!! Your ass is huge!!"


-When a fortune teller says "You will be hit with a large amount of luck" she actually means "Duck"


-When a guy says "Honey, I'm only going to the strip club for Joe's bachelor party. I won't even look" he actually means "BOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIES!!"


-When a woman says "Honey, I'm only going to the strip club for Jane's bachelorette party. I won't even look" she actually means "Back off ya fat ass...if you're lucky I'll come home riled up"


-When a waiter in a snotty restaurant says "Oh yes sir. I'll bring your coffee right over" he actually means "Would you like urine with that?"


Keep on keeping on....peace.